"The Bachelor" Is Not For Angry People

 

 

I have watched The Bachelor and The Bachelorette on and off for years and as a smart woman, I can’t tell you why. And as a Black woman, I puzzle myself further. 

What can I say, I love romance. I was allowed to have my first boyfriend at age 11 and he was textbook romance. Where did such a young boy of 11 learn how to sweep a girl off her feet, I don’t know. But I’m guessing he learned from the movies. When a reality show proposes to find people love, in a world before Love Is Blind, I decide to watch The Bachelor. However, I watch even when I see all the problems the show has, meaning that I’m part of the problem. I’m one of those viewers who is like, "well it’s not like The Running Man where someone dies".... 

But they kind of do die, our souls as an audience die each time we watch one episode of that show. I can hear Bachelor Nation now, "speak for yourself". Well, I will. I have a few ideas on how the show can be fixed and the list is pretty self explanatory, but I’ll elaborate on some of them. 

1. How much alcohol are these contestants allowed to consume? 

They’re adults sure, but alcohol affects people differently. Now it should not be a show where people are not allowed to drink, but the drinking should not be the fuel given to contestants to create drama. 

2. Find people who are truly looking for love. 

I do not care if your talent is singing, please do not sing to the lead because it just comes across as people looking for clout and not love. 

3. Who buys the clothes that the contestants wear? 

It seems that wardrobe should be part of the show’s budget so that one contestant doesn’t look like they are going to the park while another looks like they are going to meet the queen. Why is that important? I have seen enough The Bachelor episodes to notice that men are visual. These women should have a similar shot at getting the guy in my opinion. 

4. How many people in real life have been in helicopters? 

Please raise your hands. I’m looking at you there and your hands were not raised. Exactly! So why is it that all the dates are so extravagant? If Disney’s abc wants those relationships to succeed we need to put these contestants in real life situations. 

They need to talk more, kiss less and go on more down-to-earth dates. Down-to-earth dates are not necessarily a walk in the park or a picnic but a famous musician shouldn’t be playing in the background while the couple dance for the first time. Let’s see more unedited dinners where it’s one of the only times they have serious conversations. Do not edit it too much for content and show more of that and less hot-tub. I am watching the show to see the genesis of love. I like seeing people find love and I don’t need to see them making out, especially if he seems to tell each woman how much he cares about her. Apparently if there are 3 women left, he likes each of them for their uniqueness. The Bachelors always seem like they want to take all the women  home. Am I wrong? One proposed and changed his mind and chose the next woman. And she agreed. Now they have a family. 

Getting back to extravagant examples of dates. How often will I get Marc Anthony to come on my dates even though I love him? We have to set realistic situations where contestants have real talks. Let’s say that there is a date where they go horseback riding, how exactly is that getting to know someone? The realest I have seen the franchise is when they started featuring black leads. They had racial conversations though all 3 black leads did not choose a member of their race. With the limited pool of dates and the questionable background checks on these contestants, it’s amazing that 2 of the 3 black leads found someone. I say questionable background check because one contestant was stalking his ex allegedly, one had a girlfriend allegedly and one attended an antebellum party. 

All that to say that even when the show tried to diversify, the contestants chose from what they were given. Don’t get me wrong, their choices could have been based strictly on love and chemistry but it could also have been that they chose from limited choices. I’m not saying that casting screwed the black bachelor over, but whoever is looking for these contestants need to improve. There are too many breakups for a show about love. When you are looking for the love of someone’s life, make sure there is compatibility or that the lead isn’t looking for clout. I don’t know how many leads were just there because they were using the show to become famous, but all that is possible. The show is becoming similar to a soap opera. So why not watch a soap opera? 

5. The show has Neil come on at the end to show the lead rings. 

He is a master in ring designs apparently and if you sponsor the show, you gotta show your goods. I don’t know how a few months of filming can lead to marriage while dating dozens of people. Let’s take the proposal away completely still giving the contestant a ring so the show still makes money and making it a promise ring instead of proposal. Or making it a choice to propose and not what looks like an obligation. 

The paparazzi is a little obsessed with the contestants who break up because there is this huge engagement. And isn’t it juicy when 2 people are propelled into stardom only for the tabloids to destroy them while selling magazines? Don’t give them that. If it’s a good cute show like Love Is Blind that got a huge maybe accidental success, you run with that, but you do it better the second time. I feel like ABC Network rushes the show. 

Take your time and create a drama-free show where women don’t bully each other. These women are very hostile but they are on TV, right? Yet in real life, wouldn’t they take out restraining orders against each other. One woman took a crown off another and in real life the police would have been called. I was thinking though, that show has such a Fox TV feel to it and not an ABC feel. I’ll still watch but you know what? When it gets dramatic, I’m not going to consume that, I will just turn off my television. I can’t say I’m a member of Bachelor Nation. I just visit. I’m at a point in life where I do not need TV to be people yelling, crying and all that crap they do. I need my TV to be zen. 

Culturally not all the US is full of angry people. I am sure there are shows for angry people, but hopefully The Bachelor isn’t for angry people.