Friday, February 15, 2008

Abscess of Malice

Okay, I joked about it on my last post, but let's get down to the nitty-gritty. I have (had) a cyst in the underarm region of my right (pitching) arm, which is actually quite as painful as you think it is. I've been in and out of the Urgent Care Unit all week having it treated, taking different types of antibiotics and huge doses of Motrin to keep me steady. I feel gross, yes. So why am I talking about it? I don't know, I figure that if anything crazy happens, you'll know what precipitated it >;)

I have an abnormality of sorts; this cyst was incurred by the materials used to make the antiperspirant in store-brand deodorants. Alum, for example. Alum is that stuff that Tom Cat or Sylvester the Cat (why is it always cats?) is tricked into eating and it suddenly shrinks their mouths into nonexistense... yes, it's a bit of an astringent, which is why it's included in antiperspirant; to shrink the opening of your pores into nonexistense, thus you do not perspire. That's cool if you don't perspire much. But in the real world, it's a bad idea.

This does NOT mean that I go around funky, it means that aside from washing at least three or four times a day, I have to use alternative methods to stay "fresh". Slick Rick had a good idea:

- Soap
- Toothpaste
- Lotion
- Nail file
- Bubble bath
- Johnson's Baby Powder
- Polo Cologne

Well, not that last one...

I do like to use oils, though. I have dark skin, which honestly can get rather ashy-looking through the dry day. Everyone likes sandalwood, but I kind of like Frankincense, Blue Nile and Somali Rose. Myrrh is a bit too morbid, and I can't understand why anyone likes Musk.

You don't want to read about how they had to pack and repack the wound... no, I didn't think so. So, as I write, I am bandaged and taking Ciprofloxacin Hydrocloride twice a day for the next two weeks at least, with further treatment to come. Irritating, but now not so painful. If only I could get some peace and quiet (and Medicaid!) I should be back in business in oh, a few minutes, since qualifying for Medicaid implies (rightly so) that I'll be broke in an hour if I don't get to work. So, all you PAs, PMs and temp agencies, I'll be talking to you guys on Monday >;)

UPDATE:

Fever of 104 degrees... dizziness and fatigue... random acts of stupidity... fever dreams of leaving your family on a whim to take pictures in an African capitol you've only heard of, or having your family move back to your favorite childhood home and recognizing everything as it was back then (though it's a completely different house!)... no, I'm not taking Cipro anymore. Me and the doctor are gonna have a lonnnnng talk...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dang, Chyll... there's all kinds of "natural" deodorants. I myself have been using Tom's of Maine for years. You might want to stay away from those "crystal" types. Yeah that aluminum in the pits is bad news. Look at it this way though, at least you got it out of your body!

Anonymous said...

Milk of Magnesia works wonders for me. Gets rid of existing funk just as well.

Chyll Will said...

I'll give that one a shot. I notice the other arm is beginning to have an issue as well, so I might be able to head it off knowing what the problem is. Thanks!